Affirming Audience of One

As a writer and a blogger, I often think after I’ve written a piece, “Oh I hope this person or that person reads this.” Usually, it is someone whose approval I want. Of course, I always ask my husband to read my blog, sometimes before I publish, but always after to ask his opinion, because I respect his spiritual insight and I want to make sure that what I wrote came across correctly. I am always curious to see how many people I’ve reached, how many people have read each piece, and how many click like or respond. I write because I want to share whatever knowledge I’ve gained with others, hoping that they might either agree or see something that they haven’t seen before. And yes, it’s disappointing when not many people click ‘like’ (something I have hidden on my blogs). I am also disappointed when I don’t see comments I’ll admit and I am not saying that to make people say something now. I am not a consistent blogger, I am sporadic in my writing, going periods of time without writing and then writing several pieces in a row. But when I get the urge to write, I have to write.

Sometimes when I write, I don’t always share what I have written, they stay in draft form, unpublished. This comes from wondering if what I have written is too simple to share, because when I have a spiritual revelation, it seems so apparent to me once I’ve grasped it, that I think, “Why did I not ever see this before?!” Then I am hesitant to share it, because I think everybody else already knows it. But lately, I’ve come to realize that we don’t all get the same revelations at the same time and what revelation one person may get, another may miss entirely. I have friends I find deeply spiritual, who I think have “all the answers” and yet, they miss things I find so easy… but still, they see things I think are deep. It is like my sweet friend Mary will say to me… “God is still growing me up.” I have news Mary… God is still growing us ALL up! And in quiet moments, and in moments with friends we find out just how much we have to grow up.

As I do tasks that need little effort, I usually listen to praise and worship music in the background and this gives me time to spend with God and think about him and my relationship with him. This is when I usually get thoughts for my writing and the last few days have been no exception. As I was thinking about my writing I thought ‘Lord, what if nobody read anything I wrote, what if you were the only one who knew what I put down on paper?’ And that was fine with me, because that would mean, I was giving him the Glory he so richly deserves. I was sharing back with him the things he has taught me. What greater praise to a teacher than to have a student recite back to them what they have learned? And if in some way me sharing my thoughts show my Father that I am growing and learning and he is my only audience then I am blessed and He is blessed in the process. I have given him the affirmation that He so richly deserves. The affirmation that I was wanting by looking for ‘likes’ or comments are the very same thing my Heavenly Father wants… words of affirmation.

Affirmation: the act of affirming;  Affirm: to express Agreement to or Commitment to, to Uphold or Support.

Whether you, reading this are the only person who reads this and you are an old friend of mine or you’ve never met me, if anything I’ve said has touched you in some way… if you’ve felt embraced by my love, by the love that the Father has given me to share with others, then I have done what I set out to do when I started writing my blog… to touch others, to share a bit of my life and my experiences and in doing so, to share the love of my eternal Father who has touched me so and has changed my life. Because without him, I would not be where I am today, either literally or spiritually.

I loved you so much that I shared with you not only God’s Good News but my own life, too. — 1 Thessalonians 2:8 (NLT, paraphrased)