Some of the reasons, it’s so hard to lose a parent, sibling, cousin, or close friend, are because they hold so many memories of us that nobody else does.
In a perfect world, our parents were there the day we were born, if not both, at least our mother. They hold the memory of how we came into the world. Even adopted children wonder how they were conceived and why they were given up for adoption. Were they not wanted? Could their parents not afford them? Were there extenuating circumstances? Everyone wants someone to want them, to need them. Even a child who was unplanned can still be wanted and loved. Just because they may have been an “accidental pregnancy” doesn’t make them any less loved or wanted. It only means they weren’t part of the parents original plan at that time, but they were God’s. It’s how the parents’ choose to accept them that makes the difference.
I’ve had two children that came into this world unexpectedly, but they were no less loved than their sibling I planned. Of course I was surprised at first, but I adjusted and was thrilled when they arrived! Both their pregnancies were easier than the one that was planned, funny how that worked out.
But we miss our parents so much when they’re gone, because they know things about us that nobody else does, like every scraped knee, every bike wreck, every time we thought there were monsters under our bed or in our closet, they knew all our fears and hopes, (which might change weekly or daily) and they still loved us, no matter how many sleepless nights or how many times we called out to them, because we saw a shadow in the middle of the night. They nurtured us through sicknesses of every kind, they may have missed work or sleep to help us feel better, but they didn’t complain, except about the grief they were given by their employers. Plus, our parents know our lineage, they remember the generations before us and who our grandparents are and who was who in the family tree. Some of them even remember our great or great-great grandparents, which is hard to fathom! They hold this treasure chest of information about our identity tucked away in their heads and when they’re gone, part of our identity is gone also. Who do we call when we want advice on certain things? For me it was usually my mother. I didn’t always take her advice, but I could bounce my ideas and troubles off her and knew I wouldn’t be judged or condemned. I would still be loved, now I rely on God, and he has even more unconditional love. He also knows things about me my mother never did.
Luke 12:7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.
God knows those things my siblings, cousins, and friends knew… Some of those things your parents never knew, because you were either afraid or embarrassed to tell them. They knew your silly antics, your fears, your desires, your confessions, and some of your deepest secrets, that you couldn’t share with your parents. So when any of them pass from this earth, they take those secrets and memories, those crazy shenanigans you shared with them and nobody else. But God still knows those things too. That is why when we lose anyone in our lives, no matter the significance they had, the only one who can bring and give comfort is God.
May God comfort all who have lost loved ones. May he wrap his loving arms around you today as you read this and envelop you with the happy memories and may he take away the painful ones you have. May he free you from any regrets you shared in your loved one’s life and may he replace it with joy for just knowing them. May he guide and comfort you, so that you may be the person you should be, to all those you meet in the future. May he help you be the best parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle to those in your life and a shining example of his love. God is always looking for new life, whether it’s an infant or an adult who turns their life to Him. May God… Let God.
Psalm 139:13-18 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!