The Best Friend…

Sometimes life has unexpected turns. The ‘wrong’ person is elected to office. We feel abandoned by those we thought would be there for us. A person we counted on as a friend, betrays us. Does this story sound familiar? Does it sound like yours? It might be, but I’m thinking of someone in history. A person that everyone thought would be a political rescuer, but then he was taken away, because those in power thought he was a fake and his best friends betrayed and abandoned him.

I know some people who have felt upset their candidate didn’t win the last presidential election, but there are others that feel theirs did. Is either one wrong? No, they just have different perspectives. I’m not going to choose one or make this political either, so don’t hold your breath. God can use any man or woman to get the outcome he wants. What he needs are people praying for those in leadership.

1 Timothy 2:1-2 I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.

I have been betrayed by friends, and it hurts to the core. I had one friend of over a decade, who insisted I said something I didn’t. She wouldn’t listen to anything contrary to what she perceived, even though our conversation was in writing. How do you convince someone who puts words in your mouth that you never said, but what they think? When they’re accusing you of words in their mind, without any credibility? You don’t, because they’re operating out of a stubborn mindset that has turned against you.

So how do you handle the hurt they’ve caused you? “Let it go and let God” is the best advice I can offer. You never know why they treated you the way they did or what they might be dealing with internally, or in their private lives. They may be struggling with sin or hurt you can’t imagine. So let God heal and/or judge them and move on.

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44

Perhaps you’ve been or feel abandoned by your spouse, your parents, or a friend. I’m sorry for your hurt, but I know someone who can heal that hurt. It’s time to make friends with the best friend a person can have — Jesus. When I was single, several years ago, I moved to a new town. I had a very deep relationship with Jesus, he was and still is my best friend. I had a man ask me, who wanted to date me, “What are you looking for in a man?” I told him, “I’m not looking for a man, I have the only man I need in my life, his name is Jesus.” I wasn’t joking either. When we get to really know Jesus as a close personal friend, he becomes our everything. All the names you hear him described as, he is! He is our friend who sticks closer than a brother. He will never leave us, he told us that in his word and if you believe his word, then you should believe that he is always available. How is that for friendship?!

Hebrews 13:5 For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

touch hands

So, who in history has experienced all of these things and far greater heartache than we have? Jesus! The same Jesus who will never leave us, has been betrayed! He has been abandoned by his friends, he may have felt abandoned by his Father for a second, even though he knew his purpose. And though he was the King of Kings, (an unelected office) the religious leaders were too caught up in their own money scheming and greed to see him as the Messiah standing right before them! Would you recognize him today? I know we all think we would. The disciples were with him all the time and still had a problem recognizing him. We all think we are so dedicated in our hearts that we would never deny him like Peter did, or betray him like Judas for 30 pieces of Silver, or doubt him like Thomas, or not know him walking along the road to Emmaus, or mistake him for a gardener like Mary Magdalene did after he had risen? Would any of them be us? Or would we mistake him as a stranger?

What do we put before Jesus? Have we betrayed him by not believing in some part of his word? Parts that we aren’t quite comfortable with or don’t understand? Have we abandoned him by not spending time with him? Ouch! Got me there. Have we not made him the leader of our lives? Have we looked to religious leaders and political leaders as our saviors instead?

I pray that you make Jesus your leader and your best friend today. You won’t feel betrayed or abandoned or let down. Let him lead you as it says in Matthew:

Matthew 11:28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Enveloped by Grace or Bound by Law

I would much rather be enveloped by grace than be bound by the law. I was thinking about culpability and people who intentionally or unintentionally inflict harm or commit a crime. In the law of man, there’s a term called ‘mens rhea’ which means, in a simplified version, a person with a guilty mind. A person with a guilty mind is one who intentionally commits a crime. They may even plot with friends or family how to carry them out. They are most certainly bound by the law.

Then there are those who do things unintentionally. They are the ones who are enveloped by grace. For example: Let’s look at two driving accidents: Driver One is driving when a pedestrian steps out in front of their car, but they don’t see them until it’s too late to stop. No matter how hard they push their brakes, it is impossible to stop the car and the pedestrian is killed. Driver One would be liable, but most likely only have to pay monetary damages.

Driver Two goes out looking for a certain pedestrian and when they see them; aim their car at them and they kill the pedestrian with malice. They hit their gas pedal instead of their brakes when they see them and then say it was tough luck the pedestrian was on the same road. Driver Two is bound by the law; criminally liable, and will most likely have to pay damages and do jail time. Their offense was premeditated and they had a guilty mind. This is ‘mens rhea.’

Now let’s look at grace. Grace says if you confess your sins to God, you can be cleansed and healed. God’s grace takes care of the unintentional and the intentional! You will still face the consequences of man’s law, but you can get rid of your guilty mind and turn from your harmful intentions. Jesus told the guilty person on the cross next to him, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” This man showed remorse at the last moment of his life and Jesus showed mercy and gave him grace.

1 John 1:8-10 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

Ask yourself, ‘What sins are in my life that I need to have forgiven? Do I need to ask Jesus to come into my life and give him control, so grace can take over? Am I driving over other people’s rights? Do I feel no remorse in my actions? Maybe there are sins you are unaware of and need to ask God to make you aware. He will bring them to you and make them apparent so that you can deal with them. The Holy Spirit helps us in whatever we need to confess. Grace is freely given, but it cannot be taken if we aren’t willing to let go of our sins.

1 John 3:4-6 Everyone who sins is breaking God’s law, for all sin is contrary to the law of God. And you know that Jesus came to take away our sins, and there is no sin in him. Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is.

Once we have renewed our hearts and minds, he is there for us and we are forgiven. Our sins are removed as far as the east is from the west! Note that it says if we continue to live in sin, we don’t know or understand who Jesus Christ is. Jesus knew no sin and if we use him as a pattern for our lives, we have no desire to live in sin or sin against others. We seek to have peace with everyone.

Romans 8:1-2 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.

Psalm 103:12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

We are free from sin’s hold on us when we totally turn our life over to God and allow the Holy Spirit to work through us. Some may need a ‘Road to Damascus’ conversion like Saul did. It took Paul, who was once known as Saul, to be shown the light and then be struck blind for three days before he saw the error of his ways. He thought he was living for God, when he was persecuting him and his devout followers. What drastic measures it took to give him a wake up call, but look what a minister Paul became! Ultimately, in the law our errors are held against us, yet in Grace our mistakes are forgiven and not remembered. God doesn’t bring up past offenses or hurts, those have all been cleansed by the blood of Jesus. This is the same mercy we must extend to others. We must forgive them their sins if they have asked for forgiveness and many times even when they haven’t. The difficulty is when they keep committing the same offense, that is when we must give them over to God to handle, because nothing we say will change their habits. God will choose how to show them the error of their ways, we are powerless. This is when our grace is extended in prayer.

Perfect Love Overcomes Hate

I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been mulling over the hatred in this world. I’ve been a victim of hatred by people that hate me unjustly. There is no reason that they should hate me. I’ve done nothing to them, except share a few meals and socialize a few times. I can’t understand their vitriol towards me. In trying to understand their hatred, I’ve studied the Bible and I’ve read psychiatric articles, with some understanding. My response is not to hate them back, but to pray for them from a distance.

This world is full of unjust hatred though. I’m not alone. For instance the unjust racial hatred. Ive never been a victim of racial hatred and my mother and my grandparents raised me not to see differences in race. I don’t think that way, I think of everyone as a one race, because we are all in this world together.

Another form of hatred I’ve become aware of is hatred of those in position of power or political office. I don’t belong to either main party in the US and I’ve seen the Republicans tear down our last president in mean and demeaning ways. Now I see the Democrats tearing down our current president. I’m not here to take a stance for either party or man. But why do people hate?!

I recall a time when I used the word hate on my mom when I was very young because I didn’t get my way. As I was sent to my room, I lashed out with the word hate. Who knows where I heard it, because it wasn’t in my mother’s vocabulary. That day, I learned the negative impacts of hate! My mother calmly called me down the stairs and asked if I wanted her to die! I was horrified at the thought!! Of course I said no, and she explained to me that to hate someone is to wish they were dead, that the word ‘hate’ was vile and detestable and should only be used for the most evil things in the world. She told me it was okay to hate bad things, like sin. I took the word hate out of my vocabulary that day. She also said that being angry was human, but as Christians we must learn to control what annoys us. Other people should not be hated and should not anger us to the point of lashing out, because we can remove ourselves from bad situations most of the time. I cannot remember ever hating anyone. But I have been the victim of jealousy and greed that turned into hatred towards me more than once.

1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.

1 John 4:20-21 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.

Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things the LORD hates-no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.

The Bible tells us that we cannot hate our fellow man and still love God; it’s as if we are murderers. We would be murderers of God’s own, because God is no respecter of persons and loves each and every one of us. If we hate anyone else, we are sinning against those whom God loves. God hates the sin of pride and self-righteousness, gossiping, running to tell others things we cannot prove, plotting bad things to happen to others, or wishing they were ill or dead, he detests liars and those who stir up trouble in families.

As I read psychiatric articles to understand why people hate, I learned many times it comes from feelings of being different, jealousy, or envy. People hate what is not like them, but there are also times that people hate what is most like them, because they don’t like or accept themselves. This usually comes from someone who didn’t feel loved or accepted as a child. Sometimes people hate as a sense of belonging to a group of like minded people or for a need to fit in. This is also from a void in a person’s life. They join a group of haters, sometimes very small in number, because they have a cause they believe in, however misguided. Hatred is a distraction from emptiness, feelings of unworthiness, self-loathing, and loneliness. Hatred empowers some people and allows them to maintain a distance. It disenfranchises them from living life fully because that is too scary for them. They hold on to their inner hurt and hate others instead of dealing with their own inner turmoil. They lash out at what they cannot control and show anger as a sense of empowerment.

But these are not Christian attributes of love, joy, peace, and long suffering. The Holy Spirit can guide us into healing from hatred with love. What can all those feelings be replaced with? The fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; which all displace hatred and anger. That doesn’t mean we have to like how others live around us, but we don’t talk about them incessantly and complain and we certainly won’t hate them. Because whether they know Jesus or not, he certainly knows them and wants them to come to know him. Another way to deal with hatred and anger towards an individual is to pray for them earnestly. This is true of our leaders, and we are instructed to do this in the Bible. With the Holy Spirit’s guidance Love will dispel hate!

Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

John 13:34-35 “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

Perfect Love gives us the ability to be healed from past hurts. It sets us free from pains we’ve endured throughout our lives. This love only comes from having Jesus Christ as our Savior and by the Holy Spirit guiding us each day, each moment of our lives. Let love dispel any hate, any jealousy, any greed, or sin we may be holding onto, so we can lead the life God intended for us. May we pray for all who have hatred toward us and show them his mercy and love. May God give us grace to show love and grace to those who may rub us the wrong way and remove any offense we feel.