Tag: relationship

Perfect Love Overcomes Hate

I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been mulling over the hatred in this world. I’ve been a victim of hatred by people that hate me unjustly. There is no reason that they should hate me. I’ve done nothing to them, except share a few meals and socialize a few times. I can’t understand their vitriol towards me. In trying to understand their hatred, I’ve studied the Bible and I’ve read psychiatric articles, with some understanding. My response is not to hate them back, but to pray for them from a distance.

This world is full of unjust hatred though. I’m not alone. For instance the unjust racial hatred. Ive never been a victim of racial hatred and my mother and my grandparents raised me not to see differences in race. I don’t think that way, I think of everyone as a one race, because we are all in this world together.

Another form of hatred I’ve become aware of is hatred of those in position of power or political office. I don’t belong to either main party in the US and I’ve seen the Republicans tear down our last president in mean and demeaning ways. Now I see the Democrats tearing down our current president. I’m not here to take a stance for either party or man. But why do people hate?!

I recall a time when I used the word hate on my mom when I was very young because I didn’t get my way. As I was sent to my room, I lashed out with the word hate. Who knows where I heard it, because it wasn’t in my mother’s vocabulary. That day, I learned the negative impacts of hate! My mother calmly called me down the stairs and asked if I wanted her to die! I was horrified at the thought!! Of course I said no, and she explained to me that to hate someone is to wish they were dead, that the word ‘hate’ was vile and detestable and should only be used for the most evil things in the world. She told me it was okay to hate bad things, like sin. I took the word hate out of my vocabulary that day. She also said that being angry was human, but as Christians we must learn to control what annoys us. Other people should not be hated and should not anger us to the point of lashing out, because we can remove ourselves from bad situations most of the time. I cannot remember ever hating anyone. But I have been the victim of jealousy and greed that turned into hatred towards me more than once.

1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.

1 John 4:20-21 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.

Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things the LORD hates-no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.

The Bible tells us that we cannot hate our fellow man and still love God; it’s as if we are murderers. We would be murderers of God’s own, because God is no respecter of persons and loves each and every one of us. If we hate anyone else, we are sinning against those whom God loves. God hates the sin of pride and self-righteousness, gossiping, running to tell others things we cannot prove, plotting bad things to happen to others, or wishing they were ill or dead, he detests liars and those who stir up trouble in families.

As I read psychiatric articles to understand why people hate, I learned many times it comes from feelings of being different, jealousy, or envy. People hate what is not like them, but there are also times that people hate what is most like them, because they don’t like or accept themselves. This usually comes from someone who didn’t feel loved or accepted as a child. Sometimes people hate as a sense of belonging to a group of like minded people or for a need to fit in. This is also from a void in a person’s life. They join a group of haters, sometimes very small in number, because they have a cause they believe in, however misguided. Hatred is a distraction from emptiness, feelings of unworthiness, self-loathing, and loneliness. Hatred empowers some people and allows them to maintain a distance. It disenfranchises them from living life fully because that is too scary for them. They hold on to their inner hurt and hate others instead of dealing with their own inner turmoil. They lash out at what they cannot control and show anger as a sense of empowerment.

But these are not Christian attributes of love, joy, peace, and long suffering. The Holy Spirit can guide us into healing from hatred with love. What can all those feelings be replaced with? The fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; which all displace hatred and anger. That doesn’t mean we have to like how others live around us, but we don’t talk about them incessantly and complain and we certainly won’t hate them. Because whether they know Jesus or not, he certainly knows them and wants them to come to know him. Another way to deal with hatred and anger towards an individual is to pray for them earnestly. This is true of our leaders, and we are instructed to do this in the Bible. With the Holy Spirit’s guidance Love will dispel hate!

Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

John 13:34-35 “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

Perfect Love gives us the ability to be healed from past hurts. It sets us free from pains we’ve endured throughout our lives. This love only comes from having Jesus Christ as our Savior and by the Holy Spirit guiding us each day, each moment of our lives. Let love dispel any hate, any jealousy, any greed, or sin we may be holding onto, so we can lead the life God intended for us. May we pray for all who have hatred toward us and show them his mercy and love. May God give us grace to show love and grace to those who may rub us the wrong way and remove any offense we feel.

The Giants, Our Armor, & Freedom

1 Samuel 17:38-40,45,47,49 Then Saul gave David his own armor-a bronze helmet and a coat of mail. David put it on, strapped the sword over it, and took a step or two to see what it was like, for he had never worn such things before. “I can’t go in these,” he protested to Saul. “I’m not used to them.” So David took them off again. He picked up five smooth stones from a stream and put them into his shepherd’s bag. Then, armed only with his shepherd’s staff and sling, he started across the valley to fight the Philistine… David replied to the Philistine, “You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of Heaven’s Armies-the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defiled… And everyone assembled here will know that the LORD rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the LORD’s battle, and he will give you to us!”…  Reaching into his shepherd’s bag and taking out a stone, he hurled it with his sling and hit the Philistine in the forehead. The stone sank in, and Goliath stumbled and fell face down on the ground.

Mountain sunset

David was offered Saul’s armor when he went out to face Goliath, but the armor restricted him and didn’t allow him to move freely. He knew that he couldn’t go into battle wearing armor that was intended for someone else. He also knew that the only armor he needed was the protection of God. There are times in our lives that we face battles and we listen to how others faced a similar situation and try to do what they did and it doesn’t work for us. Sometimes we run to others for advice or counsel before we take our problems to God. David as a young man, walked with God and tended his flock of sheep. He had a close personal relationship with God and he knew the voice of his Lord. David knew better than to take on another man’s ill-fitting armor that would only encumber him in battle. Whose armor are we trying to wear instead of the armor that God has provided? David also knew that God would protect him and that he had found favor in his eyes. Have we not favor in our Father’s eyes? You may ask what is favor. Favor is an act of kindness beyond what is due, hmmm, that sounds like grace. Isn’t the fact that Jesus died on the cross favor and isn’t the fact that by grace we are saved, favor? Grace is easy and free, it isn’t encumbering and it doesn’t restrict us.  

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. — Ephesians 2:8-9

So, if there are giants (problems) in our lives, are we willing to go to God first and take on his counsel through the word and hear his voice by listening to the Holy Spirit and not run from one person to the other to seek advice? If we know and have confidence in the Word of God (Jesus Christ – John 1:1) that he has a plan for our life, then why are we looking for the advice of anyone but God? Of course, if it effects our spouse, we should discuss it with them. Another exception would be in ministerial fellowship, where it effects the direction of a church. Our counsel should still come from God, first and foremost and be directed by the Holy Spirit. The people in our life should be in tune with the Holy Spirit also; then they will hear the same message we hear or a very similar message. If we are not making wise decisions, perhaps we need to consider who our confidants are. When we know the ways of Jesus, the armor is easy and the burden is light, as he says in Matthew 11:28-30, which I especially like in The Message translation.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” — Matthew 11:28-30
The plans of the mind and orderly thinking belong to man, but from the Lord comes the [wise] answer of the tongue. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirits (the thoughts and intents of the heart). Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed. Proverbs 16:1-3

As we take on the armor of God, (Ephesians 6:10-18) which is all we need, we are fully prepared to defeat any opposition that rises against us, because we realize that our wisdom comes from God and that Jesus defeated the enemy on the cross. Nothing we put on will feel wrong or ill-fitting, it will feel right and we will feel free as we are intended to feel when our lives are lined up with the will of God. We have Liberty to walk in all that he has for us. We, who have accepted Jesus as our Savior, are victorious in our salvation and need to learn to live as victors instead of victims. We need to put away, the thinking of “I’m just a sinner saved by grace.” and remember that we are “Joint heirs with Jesus Christ!” Just think how much there is in an inheritance when we forget the past and look forward to the future! This is a brighter outlook, this is worth getting out of bed for every day. Let’s be giant slayers, victory claimers, and know that no matter what battle we face, Jesus is on our side, because he already fought the battle and won! He never said we wouldn’t have trials, but he gives us a way out. He is there with us and he is For Us! 

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. — Romans 8:31-34

 

 

Capture Their Hearts

As I was praying for a loved one, I prayed for God to arrest their soul and then I thought how odd that sounds. But it is not off-base. Paul wrote and corrected the Corinthians that we must break down every stronghold of reasoning a person has to not believe in God. We don’t do it by pounding them with arguments or force, but by sound teaching. We give them convincing truths that show the doctrine of their life is led by deception and we do so in love. We show them the fallacies in their choices when the opportunity arises, but always in meekness and love.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.

Many times people get caught up in causes or ideas that consume them and keep them from the purpose of life in general, which is knowing Christ. If they don’t have a personal relationship with him, then the cares of this world, no matter how worthy, can distract them from seeking out God. I have even seen Christians sacrifice time fellowshipping with God to work on a cause they’re passionate about. The problem with this, is without communion or time spent with God and guidance from the Holy Spirit, they eventually burn out. There is nothing in this world that can satisfy us more than our relationship with our Heavenly Father and communing with Him.

Colossians 2:8 Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ.

So when I prayed for God to arrest their soul, what I meant was I wanted him to gain their full attention, so that they would see their need for Him and a relationship. But until they believe in him and receive him, they may not pay attention to our words. This is where our prayers are more powerful than a loved one’s words to them, because God is able to use others to open their hearts. Once that seed is planted, it will grow and eventually blossom. I pray he captures the hearts of those who don’t believe or who have turned their backs on God. I pray that he might send someone who with a simple phrase or action that might open their minds and hearts to Him.

Song of Songs 4:9 You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace.

In the verse from Song of Songs, if the church as a whole is the bride and Jesus is the bridegroom, then we must remember we already have captured his heart. With one glance towards him, a cry out to him, or one tear – one ‘jewel’ he is there for us.

Think of how even the disciples, who intimately knew Jesus, did not recognize him as he walked down the road with them, after his death on the cross. He appeared to them as a stranger because they were still caught up in their grief. What are we caught up in that we might not recognize his presence in our lives now? Their hope was gone and they had given up. Yet later, they realized he was alive and sought him out and found him with the other disciples breaking bread! It can be that way for every lost person!!

Luke 24:32 And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?

May their hearts come alive to the word of God, may he capture their hearts.