communication – Page 2

Wedding Bliss

My fiance and I have shared our story to anyone who will read or listen. I will share my version.

I used to write a political blog through a publication which I enjoyed. I made many friends through the years and have kept loosely associated with some of them. My moniker was ‘Str8_talk.’ (Not associated w/McCain!) One of the other bloggers I met was Jonathan Alligood, known as ‘Good Al.’ I occasionally read his posts. I had gone through a very anguished relationship and I wasn’t looking to marry again or date anyone. At first I was adamant that I wouldn’t marry again but later I said “God will have to show me if I am to marry again, then I will know it is meant to be.”

I was writing from Kansas City, MO when I first encountered Jonathan through blogging. We found out that each of us were on Facebook, so we connected in that venue just before I moved in with my daughter in VA. I was looking to converse with someone who shared similar beliefs to mine. We shared what we both learned or believed in our faith in God’s Word and we had some very lengthy discussions on the Bible. We agreed on just about everything and we grew in the Lord together.

Fast forward to my son-in-love’s transfer to North Carolina, which is Jonathan’s home state. Jonathan had shared with me about a church in a suburb of Jacksonville, NC. I really enjoyed what he said about their beliefs and it felt right in my spirit (the spirit that I received through my salvation). I told him I would visit there because I would be looking for a home church.

And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. Ephesians 1:13 (NLT)

The day I walked into Kingdom Life Fellowship (then known as Praise Tabernacle) I knew I had a church home. It was good, the worship and the message were phenomenal and I knew I had found rest for my soul. I am not a bystander though and I plugged in wherever I could. I worked a couple of times through the food bank and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting those people. If it weren’t for the generosity of my daughter I might have been one of ‘those people.’ I also helped with other areas, and served two days in the soup kitchen. I want to share the joy and peace God has given me. I love people of all types, isn’t that what we are encouraged to do?

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. Isaiah 61:1

I met another guy through a different ministry who asked me “What are you looking for in a man?” I told him “I am Not looking for a man, I am in a relationship with God and it is the most important relationship in my life.” I have continued to seek God first in my life. I wasn’t looking for a relationship or someone to marry. I just wanted to know God more; if and when I was meant to be involved with someone God would show me.

In December, I met Jonathan face to face. In the past, he had been at our church to hear teachings and the theatrical performances by the drama team. He came to see a play that our drama team put on which I was privileged to be a part. The next day he came over and visited for a few hours. By this time we were good friends and we shared more of the Lord. We knew each other better than friends we’ve had for most of our lives because we had a strong spiritual connection.

In January, I attended a seminar at his church three hours away with another friend from my church. This was not to see him but to continue on my spiritual journey and learn more about God. There were two sessions on Saturday and one on Sunday morning. During the praise and worship portion of the service, I felt like God told me “Jonathan will be your husband.” It was quite a shocking revelation but I had said all along that God would show me who, when, and IF I was to marry. I said “Okay God, you will have to show him as well, then I will know it is from you.” I didn’t change in the way I acted towards Jonathan but God was working on my heart in how I viewed him, moving from friend to eventual partner in life and ministry. I continued to be his friend, knowing that if God was in it, He would work on his heart as well.

Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful. 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Obviously, if you know us or looked at the title, you know that God did start revealing to Jonathan that I might be the woman for his life. In April I mentioned to Jonathan that I wanted to go somewhere and shoot some photography. I asked his advice on the state parks since NC is his home state. He told me he might not be available on that Saturday and I asked him why he said this. I hadn’t been hinting for him to go, I just wanted his perspective as a native Carolinian. He said he needed to get out and he would like to go. We spent the day together at Raven Rock State Park hiking the beautiful trails with the dogwood in peak bloom. That evening we went to an authentic Italian restaurant where the song playing when we walked in was “I Can Only Imagine.” This seemed to set the tone for the day.

After dinner, we went back to the park for more hiking. We ended up getting caught in a thunderstorm together and walked back in utter darkness except for the occasional lightning strikes and light from the small flashlight which I had grabbed before we set out on our second hike. We managed to get back to our cars by making all the right turns.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

We have had many dates since April and feel very blessed to be in each other’s lives! On July 23rd, Jonathan proposed to me at my church. We will be getting married on August 20th! We look forward to a shared ministry together.

You may read Jonathan’s version of our story here:

Good Al is Getting Married to Kimberly

Roadblocks

We face all types of roadblocks in our life but the most important thing is how we deal with them. We must know how to manage roadblocks by perceiving whether to press through them, go around them, or avoid them. When we are in God’s will for our lives we will know which path to take. He guides us as we seek him in intercessory prayer, which is a prayer of petition on behalf of someone else by speaking the Word of God, not an itemized list of personal needs or wants. God knows what we need; we don’t have to tell him. Sometimes, we allow our minds to get in the way when we go to God in prayer. He understands our needs better than we do – our omniscient Father. We must pray what He puts on our hearts to pray for and it is not about us.

Last weekend, while I was out-of-town touring the countryside, I came upon five roadblocks in one day. The first one was the result of a storm, which prompted action by the utility companies to make repairs. There was a policeman blocking the road to reroute traffic. The second one was a downed tree, but we were able to drive around it. A while later, we came upon another fallen tree and we had to turn around. It was too large to move and there was no way around it. Next, after hiking a bit along the Pee Dee River, we returned to the car to find a flat tire, which had to be substituted with a spare. It was beyond adding air. The last one was a police barricade stopping all cars to check identification. I was given favor when I couldn’t find my driver’s license because it was in my camera bag instead of my purse. The policeman or deputy told me to pass through because I didn’t look “shady.”

wm PDDSC_0090 — One of the roadblocks I encountered.

Facing all of these roadblocks in one day caused me to pause and ask God what he was trying to tell me. If I had only encountered a couple of them, I probably would have chalked it up to being in the wrong place at the wrong time but five caused me to contemplate further what they meant. I reflected how three of them were impassable and if we are not in the will of God, our communication with him is cut off. We may try to hear from him, but he stops communicating until he has our attention. The communication flow opens once we are obedient and trust him. Then it is like a floodgate that has been fully opened. We hear from him and we have peace.

In that peace, we can touch others when we are fully reliant on God. Sometimes, we allow obstacles in our lives to cut us off from God’s instructions for our lives. We do this by not fully trusting him, when the Word says he will provide for us. Or we may allow activities to get in the way, which hinder us from our daily time alone with God. There are numerous ways we may permit things to obstruct our walk with God. Hopefully, we correct them quickly and get back on the path he has prepared for us. The farther away we stray, or the longer we don’t communicate with God, the harder it is to find his path.

Our lives are more simple and straightforward when we keep on the right path. There may be some roadblocks we can avoid altogether. We have to learn to recognize them and not be pulled into temptations. I want to avoid these obstacles, because it is more expedient when God levels our path. In avoiding these obstructions, we may have to search out an alternate route. Other times he allows us to go around them. When we pass through, this is a form of avoidance. Then there are times when we go through unscathed.

To pass through trials unscathed is victorious! Even though others may try to steer our course or be ‘in our face,’ God sanctions a way through without us being physically hurt. We may be emotionally hurt but it is our response that opens the door. If we allow emotions to take control and dwell in the pain, the doors may remain shut. Although we may get hurt initially, when we turn the emotions over to God, he opens the door or window for us to pass through. When we are hearing from God, the opinion of other people should not influence us. There have been well-intentioned people in my life who have tried to convince me to take different paths at times. I know from experience this is the time I need to immediately go to God and seek what action I should take. If they are correct, God will show me how to correct myself and what they are saying. But if I am already in his will, their words will not affect me and I will continue the journey He has set before me. At times, this is difficult because some of these people are people who I believe hear from God and I respect. There is the crucial point. They hear from God for their lives and sometimes others, but who is responsible for our actions? I hear from God and without hesitation, I seek His will for my life.

Here is a rhetorical question: Who is a better guide, the Holy Spirit or someone else? What I have learned is God will speak to me what he wants me to hear. If I’m on the wrong path, he will convict me but if I’m where he wants me, he will give me peace to continue on. His peace is the key to knowing we are following God’s plan. It is his peace I seek out and not other’s. He knows what is best for me and when I follow him with his Word, I attain that peace.

Whatever roadblocks you are facing in your life now, I pray that you will seek God to show you the way. You may have health issues, financial woes, a family crisis, or countless other things bothering you. Maybe you are going through more than one. Now is the time to get before God and let him calm the storms in your life. I intercede on your behalf for you to know whether to search for another way, trust him to pull you through, or how to avoid roadblocks altogether. I pray for his guidance through the Holy Spirit as you seek his will for your life that you will experience his love and indescribable peace. Praise him for the answer and read his Word. In love, K-D

Click on the Verses for this writing to read them: Psalm 143:10; Proverbs 3:1-6; Isaiah 26:3-4; Isaiah 40:3-5; Matthew 6:6-8; Matthew 8:26; John 16:13-15; Romans 12:1-2; Philippians 4:6-8; Hebrews 12:5-12

Listening

Listening is a skill. I have learned over the years that to be an effective communicator, I must listen. I don’t claim to be an expert listener, I’m a work in progress. I majored in Communications in college and I remember being taught how to speak well and communicate effectively to my audience. I cannot recall the times I had to give oral presentations for classes. I was prepared somewhat by my life experiences. I held jobs where I had to train people both individually and en masse. I paired written words, which I prepared, and articulated my thoughts extemporaneously. Those who learned quickly were good at listening and were attentive.

I have a friend who is an excellent listener. We used to have lengthy conversations and in talking to him one day I mentioned that he had excellent listening skills. He is patient when I communicate with him whether we are face-to-face or chatting on the phone. He told me it was an acquired skill. I have often thought of this over the years. I have tried to hone my ears to not only hear people when they speak but to actively listen. I try to listen to their emotion and their intent. If I don’t understand what they are saying, I ask questions. I tell them what I perceive and if I’m off-base most of them will explain their words if they want to get their point across.

I looked up the words hear and listen. Hear is a perception of sound and information. Listen is to pay attention and to wait for sound, to actively hear. “To wait for sound” shows me the patience we must have when we listen. Hearing is simply to perceive with the ear while listening is to try to hear and be involved with sounds. We hear noises all day, our alarm clock, our coffee maker, voices, traffic, music, birds singing, dogs barking, our computer’s hum, but how often do we actively engage with the noises we hear? Do we just hear them or do we pay attention to them and think about them?

Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life. Isaiah 55:3

I remind myself mentally to take note of what other people say and try to actively listen and not just ‘hear’ their words. I try to have my ears wide open. The Bible says that we “will find life” when we listen! In Proverbs it says “don’t lose sight of them.” This is an active form of listening! It goes on to say “let them penetrate into your heart.” When we listen and understand, we don’t simply have the knowledge in our minds we carry it in our hearts. Having the words in our heart brings a change of attitude and perception, it helps us connect.

My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Proverb 4:20-22

In Romans it speaks of connecting our faith when we hear the words of Christ. This is an active form of listening. In the Greek, the word for hearing is hearing with the soul. This is an exhortation to allow the word of God, Jesus, to penetrate our heart and soul. The “word of God” translated into the New King James version is from the Greek word ‘Christos’ referring to Christ. Christ IS the ‘word of God.’

Romans 10:17 So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ. (NLT) or So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. (NKJV)

I want to communicate effectively. I want to be a better listener to my friends and family and to God. It is my desire to learn.

Prayer: Father, help me to not only hear your words but to allow them to penetrate my heart and soul. Help me to be a better listener and not one who just hears. Amen

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