Tag: relationship

How do You Define Family?

Family is a unit of people who support each other. God created family for relationship with himself and with each other. Family synonyms: inheritance, relationship, people. Family is a group of people affiliated either by birth, by marriage, or by sharing, nurturing, accepting, and respecting each other. There are clear guidelines to what God doesn’t want in a family and what he does. Starting with the positive verses first and then the behaviors we should avoid. If we follow what God intended, it would encompass those who work together as one unit. By God’s definition, as a church or family, we are one body and in marriage, we become one person. The Bible tells us we each have a role to play:

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body [family] of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit… Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 & 13:4-7

“‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one* flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:7-9

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We are also told there are things that God detests in any family:

There are six things the Lord hates—no, seven things he detests:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent,
a heart that plots evil,
feet that race to do wrong,
a false witness who pours out lies,
a person who sows discord in a family. Proverbs 6:16-19

But to focus on individual families, such as parents, whose kids grow up and marry, eventually having kids of their own, then become grandparents… Where does God tell us to stand in this role? We’ve raised them the best we could, now it’s their turn. Do we continue to give advice? ‘No, not unless they ask, and then as led by the Holy Spirit. IF we put in our two cents, we must remember that it is only two cents, compared to their 98 cents – meaning they must make their own decisions!” We need to greet their decisions with open minds, not interference. The only exception would be, if they’re in a dangerous situation. Other than that, we should be hands off! We should embrace their spouse and make them feel comfortable and part of ‘the family’ — never an outsider. I call my children’s spouses ‘in-loves’ because their relationship goes deeper than a law or sheet of paper they signed. It is a commitment they’ve made; with God. This is where the peeling away of resistance comes into play. We must accept their decision, even if and when we don’t agree. Fortunately, I agree with my kid’s decisions in mates.

God spoke in the Old Testament of being circumcised to be part of his family. Under the New Testament or Grace, this would be circumcision of the heart, the peeling away of the layers of our heart that have hardened to anyone we didn’t choose for our kids; being open to those outside the family, by accepting them for who they are, not who we want them to be. Families accept not just their blood family, but also their children’s spouses. They don’t interfere by trying to influence their children against their partners by pointing out perceived flaws. 

For you are not a true Jew just because you were born of Jewish parents or because you have gone through the ceremony of circumcision. No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with God. And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by the Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people. Romans 2:28-29 & Ephesians 2:11

As Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, and they want to speak to you.” Jesus asked, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” Matthew 12:46-50

In the second verse, Jesus turned the verse around to those questioning him and said anyone who did the will of God is his family. Therefore by his view, there wasn’t anyone outside his family unless they didn’t follow God. So, how do we view “outsiders” in our family? Do we view them as those who follow God as being in our family or are they outsiders if they aren’t born into our family? Do we accept others or view them as foreigners? If they have children from a previous marriage, are their children truly part of the family or do we label them as ‘the former spouse’s kids?’ Do we treat them equally as our grandkids or do we give the “natural” grandkids preferential treatment? It doesn’t matter how they came into the family, and neither should the current spouse of our children, they should be embraced and accepted, just as we accept our OWN children, without preferential treatment and without prejudice.

Are we willing to accept our children’s decisions in choosing a spouse? Or do we think we know better than they; who is suited for them? If we don’t accept them, isn’t that a reflection on what we view as important? If we’re opposed to their decisions, perhaps our children have chosen someone diametrically opposed to our views and it’s alien to our thinking. Maybe our kids are tired of how we act and want to find someone with a different attitude. Perhaps it’s time to search our own souls instead of trying to find something wrong with their mate or find fault with our own children. Our opposition may require a little personal soul searching instead of attacks on their selection. Perhaps we should just embrace their decisions and keep peace in the family, instead of making their marriage difficult. 

How are we contributing to our own family? How are we contributing to our church family or the community family? Are we making a positive influence in each situation, or do we feel that if we make a positive influence at church, we don’t need to at home? The family influence starts in our homes. If we aren’t making a positive influence in our own home family, we aren’t effective at church family or in our own community. Have you met people who complain about their role at home, or all the volunteer work they do at church? It gets wearisome just listening to them. Jesus said take my yoke upon you, cease from our labors, and allow the Holy Spirit to work through us, at home, in church, and in the community. We need to submit to the leadership of God through Christ via the Holy Spirit. But the best way we can help our grown children is by staying out of their lives and accepting them. It is by not interfering. It is by setting good examples. The only example they or we should be following is the example of Christ. The only inheritance that matters is our inheritance of eternal life. When that is our focus and not what worldly goods we leave when we’re gone, or who we give preference to, then we’ll have peace in our families. But we must allow the Holy Spirit to guide us in our daily lives, each hour.

God has now revealed to us his mysterious will regarding Christ—which is to fulfill his own good plan. And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan. God’s purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people [family]. He did this so we would praise and glorify him. Ephesians 1:9-14

We were chosen by God–the entire family of God, which is those who follow Him.

 

*Note: My emphasis in Mark 10

Always Pray

My husband and I were discussing prayer and whether to pray over and over for the same situation or to pray believing when it’s in line with the will of God, that we would only ask once. I believe we pray to get an answer and do have to ask repeatedly for an answer at times, but to me, that is different, than if we ask something in line with the will of God. We both strongly believe in the prayer of agreement with other believers. We didn’t come to a conclusion really, on fervent prayer. He brought up the passage in Luke 18, where it speaks of the widow who continually goes before the judge. I remembered that the judge was not a just judge, but the woman was righteous. I didn’t see her praying so much, as continuing to appeal to the judge, so I studied it today and decided to share my study of the Greek words. This still doesn’t mean that I’m right, and those who ask over and over for the same thing are wrong, it is just how I view this particular situation, and where my faith is. Jesus told us to pray, “Our Father who art in Heaven… your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven… ” This is a point we feel many miss about this prayer, IF we are following after Jesus as our Savior, we Are commissioned and we Are to Call things into Earth as they Are in Heaven, not to Beg for them to be so, because it IS God’s will for earth to submit to heaven and be like heaven. We as believers are His heaven, heaven is not a place in the sky, but a place where Christ dwells. We are to bring heaven TO earth.

 

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Luke 18:1-8 “Then he spoke a parable to them that men always (pantote – in every situation) ought to pray, and not lose heart (ekkakeo – lose courage) saying: “There was in a certain city a judge (krites – umpire appointed by people – Not God) who did not fear God nor regard (entrepo – respect) man. Now there was a widow (chera – a woman without a husband) in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me (edikeo – execute righteousness & justice) from my adversary.’ (antidikos – opponent in a lawsuit) And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles (kopos – grieves me with Christian virtue) me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming (telos – fulfillment of a matter) she weary me.’” (hupopiazo – wears someone out)

Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust (adikia – unrighteous) judge said. And shall God (edikesis – who is full of righteousness & justice, who vindicates from wrong) not avenge His own elect (eklektos – chosen, preferred, selected*) who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long (makrothumeo – has patience, endures, waits) with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. (2 words here — en – amongst them & tachos – in quickness, swiftness, & with speed) Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, (erchomai – comes & goes; as in his people see Romans 15:29) will He really find faith (pistis – firm persuasion, based on hearing, not sight, reliance on the Word of God, see Hebrews 11:1) on the earth?” (ge – creation)

*Eklektos is also the root word for the word eclectic. I thought they sounded similar, so I looked up the root word for eclectic out of curiosity, knowing the meaning of the word. Of course, the body of Christ is many members, even though it says ‘chosen’ this means a variety of backgrounds grafted into one vine. The word eclectic means: selecting or choosing from various sources. A good synonym is ‘inclusive.’ When we follow Jesus’ example of Perfect Love, we are inclusive.

So let us pray in every situation claiming on earth as it is in heaven, set apart as Jesus was, one body of many members fit together to reach many. Never ceasing to seek God’s direction in everything we do, let us always pray.

 

 

Grace

The majority of my friends and family members are Awesome and help to maintain my Faith in humanity. Then there are those few that stretch me. At times, they really tttrrrrry my pa-tience and offers of grace, or even desire to show grace! Jonathan, my husband, will sometimes say the latter are the ones who are there for our “perfecting,” meaning that they make our faith grow. And I think, ‘Gee, how much more does my faith need to e-x-p-a-n-d?!!’

He’s right though, because if they are irritating me by the things they do and/or say, it shows I have not reached my own maturity in Faith. If and hopefully when I’ve come to a point that their actions, which are intended to provoke, do not irritate, but bring forth a response of love and compassion, then I’m getting closer to the patterned son, who treated sinner and redeemed alike. What greater love did he show than to give up his life to those who mocked and scorned him? 

What love can face a person who figuratively speaking, spits in their face and turn that anger to repentance without one word? What kind of love can heal? What kind of love, when weary will still minister to those in need? What kind of love is not angered when a close friend doubts their existence and allows them to touch him so they believe he exists? It is love full of grace; it is Perfect Love. I’m not there, but Jesus IS. May I grow to be more like him and exhibit His Grace!


Saved by grace… what does that mean?

Grace (charis in the Greek) is a free gift; something given without expecting anything in return; an undeserved kindness; a favor given by God through Christ Jesus. The one who gives grace offers a kindness or a favor; their speech is pleasing and courteous. One who bestows grace is not hindered by another’s sin or triggered by another’s good works. They are motivated by the heart of Christ Jesus, manifested in and through them. Grace is actuated by joy and imparts joy.  Grace prompts its possessors to confer benefits to others. Grace sustains and aids the efforts of those who labor for the cause of Christ, assisting those who are devout followers to be strengthened in their troubles. Grace is the ability to love those who don’t love you, to lend to others and expect nothing in return, to do without being asked. The one who receives and accepts grace feels gratefulness, homage (honor and faithfulness towards the giver) and respect (esteem) to the giver.

Divine grace – ‘Status gratiae’ in Latin – is the spiritual condition of someone who is governed (held in check) by the Spirit. Salvation is a gift of divine grace; it is a heart changing reality. Divine grace is also a Corporate Expression of the gifts given by God. 1 Peter 4:10 “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.”

Jesus is the epitome of grace; he knew how to answer every man, even as a child in the temple, his words were gracious. Luke 4:22 He lived out a life of grace to the very end of his human life. Grace and Truth come from Christ alone. Righteousness is declared by grace to us through Christ Jesus. Romans 3:24 Grace frees us from sin and the penalty of sin. Romans 6:14 “Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law.  Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.”

Grace is to be shared with others. When it is shared and received it brings glory to God. 2 Corinthians 4:15

There is victory in grace, even in the midst of trial because there is joy in the acceptance. Grace given is multiplied. Grace is the sufficiency of God in all that we face in our earthly life. Grace replaces the law. Galatians 5:1-4 Grace produces words seasoned with salt–put into fertile ground – healthy people, salt preserves & purifies. Grace produces wisdom. Malachi 2:7 & Colossians 4:6

Hebrews 12:28 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. (NKJV) “Let us have grace” means let us continue to hold onto grace.

Grace Is inherited. 1 Peter 3:7 & 4:10 Grace can be multiplied through growth. We are encouraged to grow in grace. 2 Peter 1:2-8 The more grace we understand and walk in – the more we copy the pattern of Christ Jesus – the more grace we will be able to show and share with others.

Prayer: Father help me to grow in your grace and use the gifts you have placed within me to serve others. Help me to continue to hold fast to the grace you have shown me that I might grow in the knowledge of you and be able to share your grace with others. Thank you that your grace is Sufficient! In Jesus’ name – Amen

(Note: Words in blue are hyperlinks to some of the verses I based this study on, click on the words to be able to view them.)